{"id":5890,"date":"2022-05-01T23:09:32","date_gmt":"2022-05-01T20:09:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dance.lv\/eng\/?p=5890"},"modified":"2022-05-01T23:09:33","modified_gmt":"2022-05-01T20:09:33","slug":"celebrating-coworkers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dance.lv\/eng\/celebrating-coworkers\/","title":{"rendered":"Celebrating Coworkers"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Abigail Mattox<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once upon many auditions, I was telling a friend about a dancer I saw during the class. She immediately replied, \u201cI never watch other people dance at auditions. I just focus on myself.\u201d I thought, wow, what practical and logical advice. If watching people leads me to comparison, and comparison makes me feel insecure, and insecurity makes me dance poorly, then surely the most logical conclusion is to not watch people, ever. I didn\u2019t realize how much that statement impacted me, until many years later. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Throughout my childhood years and teen years, I was obsessed with ballet. I would watch it nonstop on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram. Often my sister made fun of me for only using my social media platforms as a means to watch ballet. I couldn\u2019t wait to show other people these videos that inspired me. I wanted to share the beauty that I found. Fast forward to my first five years as a professional dancer and you\u2019ll see I had shoved myself into a dark corner where I <\/p>\n\n\n\n

watched no one, saw no one, except myself. I couldn\u2019t bring myself to watch my second cast, because what if they were better than me? How would that make me feel? I could barely bring myself to watch my beloved ballet videos anymore should the feeling of inadequacy try to creep in. In that dark corner I tried to keep these feelings of jealousy, intimidation, inadequacy, far from me, but it came at a cost. I no longer could be easily inspired, no longer could be excited for my coworkers, I struggled to appreciate the beauty in their art or the art of ballet as a whole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After years of \u201cprotecting\u201d myself in this little dark corner, I realized that it had done nothing to improve my dancing or progress my career. This protection mechanism acted like a bandaid. It did nothing to heal or improve anything. It just kept my insecurity from getting worse. I was so tired of feeling uninspired, of feeling like everyone (even the ballerinas on YouTube) was my competition, of not being able to fully rejoice in my friends’ successes and just enjoy ballet for what it is. It was at this point that I thought maybe I got it all wrong. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I finally took the brave step to leave this prison I had been hiding in, I noticed two things. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Watching my coworkers reminded me of how much I love this art form! They were a source of inspiration I had neglected for a very long time. Watching them dance made me want to get up and dance too!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Watching my coworkers is a way of learning! Through my isolation, I had sabotaged myself of opportunities to learn. Instead of being open to learning from others, which follows only after acknowledging something good and beautiful in someone else, I was determined to do it all by myself. And let me tell you, it is an uphill battle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jealousy is a very real feeling. Even the kindest person has probably experienced the heartwrenching feeling of congratulating a friend on a role, a dance, an achievement that they wish was theirs. Many people know this perplexing tension of wanting to be happy for their friend but feeling crushed themselves. Often the shame that envy brings pushes us deeper into that darkness and sends us into isolation. Other people are out rightly jealous but don\u2019t recognize it in themselves. Often they tend to blame others for their problems and discredit others\u2019 successes. Their insecurities come out in hurtful words\/actions, but they would probably never admit to the feeling of envy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So where do we go from here? Is it possible to truly be happy for your coworkers’ achievements whilst not doubting your own capabilities? Is it possible to celebrate with your colleague for the role you wish was yours, whilst not being discouraged in the process? Is it possible to congratulate your friend wholeheartedly for their hard work and not blame the director, circumstances, or politics for their success? The answer is yes! But it takes some work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think the number one root of jealousy is comparison. We are constantly trying to level up our lives against others and see where we stand but the reality is we are different people, with different characters, different bodies, different experiences, different training, different goals, and so it\u2019s unfair to ourselves and others to use each other as standards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Physiologist, Dr. Caroline Leaf puts it beautifully, <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo one can compete with you because you have no equal. Your individual specialization contributes to the group success. You don\u2019t need to be jealous, envious, or knocked down by other\u2019s opinions of you; if you get a hold of the truth of your core identity\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t be \u201cthat\u201d dancer, but guess what, they also can\u2019t be you! That should make you excited about what both of you have to offer! So when you step inside the studio, lean into what you\u2019re good at, lean into your strength. Own your uniqueness, be it your jumps, turns, high extensions, quality of movement, or incredible balance. Do what makes you happy and excited, because dancers who are having fun are the most fun to watch. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mindset Coach, Kirsten Kemp breaks down three simple ways to let go of comparison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Clearly define what living successfully means to you, not just what achievements look like success to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Choose an intention that you\u2019re excited about to explore for each class instead of working on what you \u2018feel\u2019 you should fix.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Know what values you are working to bring into the studio or stage, and identify clearly why that contributions matter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Living successfully actually looks different to different people. So it\u2019s good to outline for ourselves what we want to accomplish and then ask, \u201cwhy?\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asking yourself \u2018why\u2019 is a huge practical tool to help you understand yourself better. Using \u201cThe 5 Why\u2019s Method\u201d, developed by Toyota Motor Corporation to enhance their problem solving, is now widely used to also help problem-solving in the human mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI feel jealous of my coworker\u2019s promotion.\u201d Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI wanted that promotion.\u201d Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI want to move up the ladder.\u201d Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s important that I advance in my career.\u201d Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI want to keep picking up new skills and experiences.\u201d Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Answering these “why\u2019s” might just help you understand yourself better! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clarify what you want to bring to your company and workspace. Often we generalize, \u201cI want to be great\u201d, \u201cI want to be the best dancer\u201d. But what does that mean? What does that require of you? And, again, why do you want it? This way of thinking can become self-centered and can feed our green monster. It leaves very little space for you to be happy for others. After all, how can you be happy for someone who is “ahead” of you when your goal is to be “the best”? And what is “the best” in an art form? So much of art is up to opinion, and the feeling you deliver to someone; it\u2019s very subjective. But when we look at what our presence contributes to ballet as an art form, to the theater we work for, to culture, to our nation, that is huge! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jealousy is a liar. It tells you that you are nothing without x, y, and z. And that is simply not true. Believe it or not, while you are pining over \u201cthat dancer\u2019s\u201d jumps, they\u2019re probably pining over your gorgeous adagio. But what if we owned our uniqueness, and thrived in it? Then maybe we\u2019d all be eager to celebrate each other\u2019s victories. And that would free us up to be excited to learn from each other!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I realized how privileged I am to be surrounded by so many amazing diverse artists, I began to look forward to watching rehearsals so much more, because all of a sudden I saw it as such a huge opportunity to learn! When the new girl gets a better role than me or someone who has been in the company a long time, I ask myself, \u201cWhat made her stand out more than me? What can I learn from her that will help me too in the future? Is it possible that maybe this role simply suited her strengths more than mine?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ballet is notorious for being a cut-throat environment. But I think we can rewrite that story. I think it can be a place where every individual is celebrated, and where these individuals come together and make something spectacular! The question is, are we willing to put in the work, to face our insecurities, to lay down our pride, and to see and acknowledge and celebrate the beauty with in us and in those around us?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Abigail Mattox<\/strong> is American-born and Cyprus-raised dancer. She left Cyprus at eighteen years old to work with the New English Ballet Theater, after one season there she joined the Finnish National Ballet Jr. company. She has now currently been dancing with the Estonian National Ballet since 2016. Outside of ballet her passions lie in writing her blogs, sipping excellent coffee, and spending time with friends. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Photo: YugaPhoto<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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